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Modern Romance
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Modern Romance
Unavailable
Modern Romance
Audiobook6 hours

Modern Romance

Written by Aziz Ansari and Eric Klinenberg

Narrated by Aziz Ansari

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

4/5

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Currently unavailable

Currently unavailable

About this audiobook

The #1 New York Times Bestseller

A hilarious, thoughtful, and in-depth exploration of the pleasures and perils of modern romance from one of this generation's sharpest comedic voices


At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it's wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated?

Some of our problems are unique to our time. "Why did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza?" "Should I go out with this girl even though she listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods? Combos?!" "My girlfriend just got a message from some dude named Nathan. Who's Nathan? Did he just send her a photo of his penis? Should I check just to be sure?" 

But the transformation of our romantic lives can't be explained by technology alone. In a short period of time, the whole culture of finding love has changed dramatically. A few decades ago, people would find a decent person who lived in their neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after deciding neither party seemed like a murderer, they would get married and soon have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-four. Today, people marry later than ever and spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate.

For years, Aziz Ansari has been aiming his comic insight at modern romance, but for Modern Romance, the book, he decided he needed to take things to another level. He teamed up with NYU sociologist Eric Klinenberg and designed a massive research project, including hundreds of interviews and focus groups conducted everywhere from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Wichita. They analyzed behavioral data and surveys and created their own online research forum on Reddit, which drew thousands of messages. They enlisted the world's leading social scientists, including Andrew Cherlin, Eli Finkel, Helen Fisher, Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz, Sherry Turkle, and Robb Willer. The result is unlike any social science or humor book we've seen before.

In Modern Romance, Ansari combines his irreverent humor with cutting-edge social science to give us an unforgettable tour of our new romantic world.

From the Hardcover edition.

Editor's Note

Insights from Aziz…

Aziz Ansari’s well-researched foray into the complexities and contradictions of modern dating is like a reassuring pep talk from a friend, urging you to stop overthinking things and just text that person already.

LanguageEnglish
Release dateJun 16, 2015
ISBN9780698402591
Unavailable
Modern Romance
Author

Aziz Ansari

Aziz Ansari es escritor, humorista y actor. Suele actuar, escribir y dirigir su propia serie - Master of None - para Netflix. En 2014, Ansari se convirtió en el séptimo humorista capaz de colgar el letrero de «no hay entradas» en el Madison Square Garden de Nueva York. Sus dos actuaciones, que fueron un lleno absoluto, en el mítico teatro fueron filmadas para su cuarto especial de humor, Aziz Ansari: Live at Madison Square Garden, que se estrenó en marzo de 2015 en Netflix. Durante siete temporadas, interpretó el papel de Tom Haverford en la entrañable serie cómica de la NBC Parks and Recreation, con Amy Poehler y otros grandes actores. Ha participado en diversas películas, entre las que se cuentan Juerga hasta el fin, Hazme reír y 30 minutos o menos. Le encanta tomar pasta fresca y pasar horas frente al televisor viendo dramas de éxito de una sentada. Eric Klinenberg es profesor de sociología en la Universidad de Nueva York. Es autor de Going Solo (Penguin Press) y ha escrito para el New Yorker, Rolling Stone y This American Life.

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Reviews for Modern Romance

Rating: 3.9779756086223053 out of 5 stars
4/5

1,067 ratings86 reviews

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  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Funny and interesting to hear the changes dating has had over the years due to technology. I dated before social media and cell phones so it is a whole different monster out there. Aziz does a great job of making dating in the land of technology entertaining.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I have brought points from this book up in uncountable conversations over the last few weeks. Highly, highly recommended for anyone who's been on the dating market at any point since, say, 2001.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Not at all what I expected....but this was surprisingly educational! I adore Aziz Ansari---and listened to the audio book just b/c he was the one reading it! --- The intro alone was worth it!!!! --
    Regardless of what generation you belong to--all ages will find this both interesting and comical.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Audio version for the win! Seriously, listening to Aziz Ansari read this book may have taken it from a three-star to a four-star rating for me. It’s entertaining for sure, but hearing the words delivered by Mr. Ansari made it all the better.

    Mr. Ansari and Mr. Klinenberg take a look at how dating and marriage has changed in the last decade or so, with newer technology such as online dating, texting, and other social media methods of communicating. It’s an interesting read that goes beyond what I originally thought would be covered (essentially just courtship in the U.S.) to larger issues such as marriage and long-term relationships, infidelity, and relationships in other cities across the world.

    I appreciate that the authors are upfront with the limitations of the book: it focuses primarily on middle-class relationships, and it is limited to (mostly) to the dynamics of heterosexual relationships. I’d really love it if they would embark on similar study and write follow-up books on LGBTQ relationships. Additionally, I appreciate that Mr. Ansari enlisted the assistance of a social scientist to formulate some surveys, studies and focus groups, instead of just sticking to some observational humor. This isn’t just a book filled with entertaining anecdotes; it has a heftier feel to me, if that makes sense.

    My husband and I met on OK Cupid in early 2011, so I found myself nodding in agreement with a lot of what Mr. Ansari said. I was never a prolific dater, though, so I didn’t relate to some of the topics covered, but I still found them very interesting. Overall, I think that if you’re looking for a fairly quick listen (I think it was a little over six hours long) that will have you chuckling out loud, this is definitely worth checking out.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Modern Romance was really insightful. Aziz explains how meeting someone, dating, and marriage has changed dramatically over the past few decades. He tells readers the advantages and disadvantages of online dating, texting, sexting, and Tindr and how people can improve and get the most out of these mediums. He does this using studies and statistics all while being hilarious. He's not judgmental of the past or present ways, he's pretty unbiased and just telling it how it is. I was really surprised how much I enjoyed this book, highly recommend millennials and people who think millennials ain't right in the head to read this.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    The audiobook was amazing. Even though we didn't see some charts/graphs, but Aziz did his best describing them. The whole book was like his stand up comedies but more details.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    An interesting and enjoyable book. I'm glad I got the audiobook instead of a physical copy. I find him funny and he made interesting a subject that could've been too dry and clinical. The book contained insightful observations of romance and relationships as a reflection and result of our changing culture and ever present technology. It had a lot of information, both from his own in depth research, as well as cited of past studies, which I found interesting.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    2.5/5: audiobook was funny and super quick, would have been made to have purchased this book it was so short. I felt like the scientific aspects of the research were weak and lacking and I felt like most of the findings were things I already knew or surmised about dating in the modern world. Aziz Ansari is entertaining though and I found portions of the book pretty funny.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This was a pretty funny look at modern dating. It provides a lot of facts about dating in today's modern electronic world and adds humorous insights. It was t fall down laughing funny, but it made me chuckle a lot.

    I would recommend this book to anyone venturing out into the dating world and to parents of teens entering into dating. The are several topics to address with your kids, especially in light of smart phones and sexting.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    So this book is amazing. Initially, when I heard Aziz Ansari had a book coming out, I anticipated a Tiny Fey/Mindy Kaling sort of thing, funny personal essays similar to his stand-up routines (which I love). But just before the book came out, I realized this is a full-blown sociology book AND a funny book. He cites studies and held focus groups and collaborated with a sociologist to investigate modern romance. So I learned a lot, laughed a lot, and definitely will read this again. And also, because it seems notable, Ansari clearly had a lot of fun working on this. Some other recent books by comedians or actors feel like they were pressured into writing the books and didn't really want to. This one has Ansari's passion written all over it, which was fun, especially as he narrates the audiobook. Super recommend.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    funny; well-researched; surprisingly academic
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Such a unique way to look at dating culture circa 2012ish. Very Aziz. Interesting, informative, and helpful!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    If you are not familiar with Aziz then check out "Park and Recreations" the great comedy with Amy Poehler. He was on it. He also has a tv show on Netflix called "Master of None" which works together with this book. This book is funny but it is also a serious exploration of dating etc. in the modern age. There was 2 years of research into this book and he really has great insights into the evolution of relationships. Technological change has made dating and choosing a life partner both easier and harder. As many studies show, too much choice is as bad or worse than too little. As someone who is older and missed the online dating scene I found this method a bit disconcerting. Too much non human communication seems to be a problem today. Bottom line is that Aziz Ansari does a good job of giving the big picture. This is a fun and easy read.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Modern Romance is a modern style book: research backed non fiction, interleaved with humorous comments. The comedic aspect doesn't only make the book easier to read, but it also helps reinforce the point being presented. Similarly to what John Oliver does, Aziz Ansari re-formulates each idea in a slightly different and silly context, which helps you think, what is it exactly that he is re-formulating. So comedy is not just comedy. It is modern, effective communication.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Profound, well-researched and, yes, funny look at modern day dating habits and the search for "mr./ mrs. right." In a nutshell, due to technology, our choices for would-be mates (or bed partners) is greater than ever but this creates a fair degree of, as Aziz puts it, "exhaustion." In sum, his advice: remember the real person behind the screen.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Even though this is non-fiction, it is also straight up comedy gold. Aziz makes an interesting topic more engaging and easy to read by inserting his trademark wit and humor. Modern Romance is exactly what the title implies, it's all about love, dating, and relationships in the modern era. It's not all conjecture though, he consults top researchers in a variety of fields to provide statistical analysis, charts, and graphs and also conducted tons of focus groups to see how people today view romance in the age of technology. There is some interesting new trends on how we meet soul mates, judge potential candidates, and view love now that we have access to a wide variety of dating apps, social media, and expanded friend groups. Definitely an interesting read that is sure to start great conversation.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This is an unexpected, kinda weird book that I enjoyed more than I first expected. This is comedian Ansari doing about 20% comedy and about 80% undergraduate level social science by conducting focus groups and probing people in an online subreddit on how people meet and date now as opposed to the pre-internet past. It's interesting and Ansari is a good writer. Maybe not your usual social scientist, but he had help from one and that gives it at least an air of validity.If you're looking for something that will make you laugh all the way through, this is not the comedy book you should pick up, but if you want an understanding of current American society, this is probably worth picking up.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Fairly accurately titled book written by Aziz Ansari (the stand-up comedian). If you enjoy his stand-up I would recommend you read this book as his 'voice' translates well to the page. The inclusion of a sociologist author, Klinenberg, adds some academic and data informed aspects to the book that I really appreciated. An enjoyable read and may be helpful to people who are dating using current technologies to understand some of the cultural shifts that are occurring.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Listened to as an audiobook. Pretty entertaining and a quick listen. Nothing too revelatory in the work, but Ansari's research and writing does provide some great reminders of what many of our lives look like for married/single, young/old, and traditional/modern.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Worth a giggle; some poignant insights. I'd stick with the Netflix or standup repackaging, though.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    For those worried this is more Klinenberg with flavors of Ansari spread out to sell the book, rest assured this is not. It's Aziz Ansari front and center, doing something I've never seen a comedian do -- write a book that's not just a memoir or replication of their stand-up. This is a sociological study in the same vein as "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking" and "The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks", but with the humor backing it up. Like "The Daily Show". And I don't believe there's anything wrong with presenting facts and truth in an entertaining way. And it's not just reports and findings one after the other. But it's also instructional to young singles for what works and what doesn't. Or what tools to use to accomplish your goals. What kind of profile picture gets the best results in online dating? Where do I go to meet people post-college? What is wrong with women/men these days? A whole chapter is dedicated to the text message. What's the difference between texting back right away or waiting a while? I recommend this whether you're single or married. Especially people who are "tired of the whole bar scene".
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    While those familiar with this subject won't find much that is earth-shattering in this account, Ansari's Modern Romance does offer a compelling, humorous presentation which would likely appeal to a wide audience. As young person navigating some of these dating experiences, this book is a great overview of what's going on in the big picture and how expectations are shifting. It certainly resonated with some of my own experiences.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I really enjoyed this book about romance and dating in today's world. I haven't dated in many years so had no idea what today's young people are through with all the technology and many different expectations than I went through. I also enjoy Aziz as a comedian, so I thoroughly enjoyed this book!
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    A chuckle-worthy account of the upsides and pitfalls of couple-dom in contemporary times. Remember when you used to have to pick up the phone and cold call people? Or go on actual dates? Now apparently you just swipe hot/not-hot photos on a smart phone. Was it better when folks married people that lived on their block because they were familiar and ended up finding similar interests and companionship in later life? Or are we better off now having THOUSANDS of dating and marriage candidates that we can algorithmically match ourselves up with?

    Many of the stories shared in the book will make one feel better and less alone about that "weird relationship (or lack of relationship) that's so imperfect that it can't possibly be how things should be and surely no other weirdos are like this and what am I doing with my life and WHAT IF." Because there is no perfect! And if you (or you two) (or three, I don't know what kids do these days) are happy and able to grow, then that is your perfect.

    The investigation of the reality of too much information and media input at all times (ahem, Le Internet and Phones that are Smart) was well-researched and remains applicable to most of our lives, not just dating and relationships. When there's an abundance of information, we set our life expectations fairly high. If left unchecked, this will probably just leave one constantly underwhelmed and disappointed. So go meet people and do things, and THEN send emojis back and forth all night. Maybe?
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    4.5 stars
    I really enjoyed this read.
    I enjoyed the humor, got some insights, and appreciated why he did this project.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    funny audiobook and an interesting, well researched analysis. certainly worth the listen/read for entertainment factor
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I am a huge fan of Aziz, have seen first season of Master of None and all his stand ups. If you are familiar with his work you know that most of his material is about modern day relationships so I was really curious about the book since even as a gender of the opposite sex I can still relate to most of the things he talks about on Master of None. I know that he really went out if his way to research information for the book which made it more enticing for me to read. Bottom line is that if your familiar with his work the book is an extension of that with comments about his love for food and travel. He does a good job on adding graphs and studies from diverse cultures around the globe in relationship to romance and marriage in this day and age when we are so invested into technology.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Muy buen libro, siempre dándote información con un toque de comedia. Recomendable
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I found it to be a very interesting book. Aziz Ansari was thoughtful, funny and the research was detailed and very well explained.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Loveeeee! Super funny and opened my eyes to a lot of things.